Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim.
"I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."
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"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring the film."
"I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome."
"I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I tried to organize a professional hide and seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find."
"I have a fear of speed bumps. I call it ‘gomphophobia.’"
"I don't have a caffeine addiction, I have a caffeine appreciation."
"I told my wife she was painting with too broad a brush. She looked at me like I was the one who was crazy."
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