Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim. 

"I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode." 

 

Twitter

"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." 

 


"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

 


"I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring the film."

"I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome."

"I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"I tried to organize a professional hide and seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find."

"I have a fear of speed bumps. I call it ‘gomphophobia.’"

"I don't have a caffeine addiction, I have a caffeine appreciation."

"I told my wife she was painting with too broad a brush. She looked at me like I was the one who was crazy."



Alhamdulillah.